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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431464">Paranoia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietlyImplode/pseuds/QuietlyImplode'>QuietlyImplode</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rescue Me [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, paranoid thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:54:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431464</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietlyImplode/pseuds/QuietlyImplode</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She looks at him. Suspicion clouding her eyes. “You’re going to make me go back, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>Clint wants to laugh. Knows it’s not the time.<br/>“Go where? Go back where Nat?”</p>
<p>She looks around. Takes everything in.<br/>“Back to Russia. Back to them,” she spits.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to send you back to Russia, Nat.” He says, resolutely; gently.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Romanov &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Rescue Me [12]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984783</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>65</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Paranoia</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did you bring anything with you?”</p>
<p>“No,” Natasha shakes her head. “Oh wait.. I had a bag?”</p>
<p> Clint goes to where she’s pointing, finds a bag of unworn clothes. Pain medication not taken.</p>
<p>Checks with her first before moving, “you in any pain?”</p>
<p>“No.” She deadpans.</p>
<p>He doesn’t believe her.</p>
<p>“You tired?”</p>
<p>She’s looks lost. Nods, rubs her hand over her face.</p>
<p>“Ok. You ready to go?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head.<br/>“No.” looks at him with focus. “I think we should stay here.” She says seriously. “It’s not safe there.”</p>
<p>He sighs. Wonders what’s happened in her head that’s making her so worried, so paranoid about the tower. He’ll play.</p>
<p>“Why, Nat? Why is it not safe?”</p>
<p>She looks down at her hands, rubbing one along the bandage.</p>
<p>“Youdontknowwhatiknow.” She mumbles.</p>
<p>Clint puts his bag down, feeing they’re not going anywhere for a bit. Sends a message to the car service to park and wait. Sits across from her.</p>
<p>“What don’t I know?” He says carefully.</p>
<p>She looks at him. Suspicion clouding her eyes. “You’re going to make me go back, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>Clint wants to laugh. Knows it’s not the time.</p>
<p>“Go where? Go back where Nat?”</p>
<p>She looks around. Takes everything in.</p>
<p>“Back to Russia. Back to them,” she spits.</p>
<p>“I’m not going to send you back to Russia, Nat.” He says, resolutely; gently.</p>
<p>Shit.</p>
<p>She looks at the ceiling, stops tears falling. “You said you would. You said I need to be punished. What would be a better punishment?”</p>
<p>He knows she doesn’t believe it. Knows because if she did she’d be running, she’d be so far gone he wouldn’t be able to find her.</p>
<p>“Natasha..” she’s not done.</p>
<p>“Just like Tony, he said I failed. I’m bad. And Pepper, and Steve. I should be punished for my mistakes. It’s not safe to go back there, Clint. What if they hurt you? I couldn’t keep you safe. I couldn’t keep myself safe. What if..”</p>
<p>Clint takes her hands, holds them tight.</p>
<p>“Nat, where are you right now?” See this for what it is.</p>
<p>Anxiety.</p>
<p>Fear.</p>
<p>Fatigue.</p>
<p>Pain.</p>
<p>“What?” She says, delaying answering.</p>
<p>“Where are you? Where are we?”</p>
<p>“..New York..”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Where are we right now?”</p>
<p>She pauses. Thinks. Looks confused.</p>
<p>“Alphabet city?”</p>
<p>“How long have you been here for?”</p>
<p>She has no answer to that. She doesn’t know.</p>
<p>“Nat, have you lost any time?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been.. asleep.” She says defensively.</p>
<p>“Did you dream? Or maybe see some things that might not be true?” He says gently.</p>
<p>She lets go of his hands.</p>
<p>“I don’t know.. I.. It felt real Clint.”</p>
<p>“They don’t know this place, Nat. They can’t have come here. They can’t get in your room in the tower. And you can always check the cameras with Friday if you want. Do you remember last time? Do you remember what we did?”</p>
<p>Natasha ducks her head. Ashamed. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Tell me, how do we check?”</p>
<p>Slowly. Slowly.</p>
<p>“Hit record on the phone, play it back..check..”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He says. “They’re our team mates, friends. They love you. They want you close, they want to help, even if that means staying away. How about we go back, but we tell Friday for everyone to stay away?”</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>“Clint, this isn’t like before. This isn’t like when I came to shield.” She says, pleadingly.</p>
<p>“I know. But I think this has shaken you more than you think.” Pauses, then asks with hesitation, “How’d you feel about talking to someone?”</p>
<p>“No.” She says immediately. “You know that’s not how we do things.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but this-“ gestures to the bed, the blood, the apartment, “isn’t how we do things either. We don’t run from each other. You scared me, Nat.” Swallows. “You’re scaring me.”</p>
<p>She’s not looking at him, staring at the ceiling. But this time can’t stop the tears from gathering and falling.</p>
<p>“What about if I ask Tony, to find my old therapist? The one from..”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Nat..She’s good..What about one session? If it’s shit, you can leave. We can go anywhere. It can be in the tower. Tony can organise it. Shield doesn’t need to know.”</p>
<p>He can tell she’s considering it. Just needs a little push.<br/>“I can come with you?” He offers.</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>Consideration. (Maybe.)</p>
<p>Not even her facial expression changes.</p>
<p>She turns away and stands, wipes her eyes away from from him and composes herself.</p>
<p>“Fine. One time.”</p>
<p>“Okay?”<br/>“Okay.” She responds turning back around to him. “But only because you think it’s necessary.”</p>
<p>He feels like she’s blocking him out now. Because of this request, because of asking.</p>
<p>If only he could read her mind. He’s not actually sure he wants to but in times like this he wants to know. Has he lost her? Will she run at the first chance she gets?<br/>He stands with her.</p>
<p>“You know I got you, right?”</p>
<p>She doesn’t answer and moves to the door.</p>
<p>“Let’s go.” She says. She stalks out leaving him to grab her bag and chase after her.<br/>——</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Stay safe my people.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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